Sweating the Small Stuff

Today, I had what at the time seemed like an amazingly huge crisis!!!
My faithful laptop which is nothing short of being antique, wouldn’t load, and I was sitting looking at a blank screen for over half an hour. So, not one known as being the best in a crisis, myself and my PTSD went diving into anxiety mode thinking that without my laptop, my gradually improving world really wasn’t worth living, as all friends were on here, along with a voluntary position I had just started on Monday (it is all done on the laptop, remotely from home) plus, as I decided I really didn’t need a TV as it would become a habit to switch it on in the morning, and then although I most likely would not even watch it at first but probably in time, like many people living alone, end up square eyed and watching it constantly. So if I want to watch anything I just watch it online on old faithful. That was just perfect for my needs.

So, once the initial anxiety attack had abated and I was able to feel able to perhaps have another go and see what was wrong using Task Manager which I have to add, I know nothing about, as it this time it loaded to the point of logging in and able to use good old alt – ctrl – del, I was able to get to the point of using this amazing tool. I just looked with pretty much blind eyes as regards as what to do, I suddenly had the idea of looking how my C: drive was working and to me it looked fine; so to cut what I could make a very long tale without even getting to the point. I restarted it and after a very tense few minutes, amazingly it started and loaded perfectly. The adrenaline rush was massive as my panic abated into one of ‘oh great, I am able to work’ I went straight to my inbox and in there was an email from someone whose blog I follow, which totally knocked some sense of guilt into me for not actually remembering and that on today of all days, I was as the title of this post says, very much what was ‘Sweating the Small Stuff’ as of course, today is the 11th of September when all those years ago so many people lost their lives or now live with life changing injuries, in the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, which as I remember watching it as it unfolded on my TV, to me (and millions more no doubt) feels it is the worst terrorist atrocity in the history of such things. I read her full post and the attached small video, not of the atrocity itself, but just a clip of someone who I have never even heard of, just talking about thinking of helpers. It really made me feel so bad of something I do, probably because of the PTSD. which is think that all the little calamities that happen to most people quite often, become to me as if the wheels were falling off my life again.

So thanks to the writer of this particular blog I refer to, I have made a promise to the Aesir and the Vanir (my Heathen Gods’) to really try not to make a drama out of a small crisis and really try to take it in my stride (PTSD allowing of course) and especially today 9/11 remember that my small things are really just tiny blips.

The Confused but Driven Blogger.

So, as you may see from the title, I have wanted to Blog for a long time now, but thought that I had no real talents or interests that haven’t been blogged about many times before. Probably Blogged about by people who know more about my interests than me. You will see from this my self confidence is not exactly spilling over, however, it occurred to me that there is one thing I know loads about, more than anyone else, and of course that is me and my life.

To purests this may come over as something I should write in a journal or diary, but, many people, particularly musicians, for instance my favorite bands, Imagine Dragons and Linkin Park write about their lives and feelings in their songs and that has done them no harm at all. So, why should a blogger not do the same? Looks like I am going to find out.